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Elevator Pitch #2


I think that the introduction of my idea was superb and a feature of my last video, But what I think that my video lacked was a conclusion that elicited an investment. In this version of my video, I tried to be more dynamic in my voice and in my tone and be more persuasive about the business side of it, not just the idea. I presented more upon the ideas of my target audience and my ultimate goals with the help of more funding.

Comments

  1. Andres BonellOctober 29, 2018 at 12:52 PM

    I liked the fact that you corrected the shortfalls from the previous pitch. However, one of the things I enjoyed the most about your first pitch was that the pitch was engaging and you seemed very energetic about selling your idea. If you can combine the concept and the same delivery of the first one, you have gold.

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  2. gracie.bOctober 29, 2018 at 3:16 PM

    I really liked that you changed up the ending to make it more focused on securing an investment. I also loved that you wore the college shirt to help you relate to those that you're selling to. I have to agree with Andres, however, that you seemed a little less energetic in this pitch. Even so, your word choice showed how passionate you are about your service-- great work!

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